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“Do they love you or the mask you put on every day?” – Shimika Bowers

mask 2.1

There is nothing more infuriating than someone fully loving the mask you wear, because deep down you know they don’t love you – they love a false version of you who doesn’t exist.

Some of us hate ourselves so much, we don’t believe it is possible for anyone to love us for who really are. We are horrified by the thought of others seeing our inner self; that disgusting, ugly, grotesque individual.

So we draw the conclusion that the only way to live is be more ‘presentable’, and reinvent ourselves behind a mask of respectability. This way of life works, and we make some connections. Friends fall for us so easily and we flirt on the fringes of relational depth.

But who invited this crazy imposter; this shameful clown who breaks into conversations  and dominates the most opportune social moments? That clown is sadly me, and that clown is all I have.

Riddled with fatigue, i drag myself to my bed and stare into the darkness. I’m forced to accept the tragedy that cashes in on me: the only love  I have is a tainted love. They love the mask, not me.

Wearing a mask wears you out. Faking it is fatiguing.

As Rick Warren says, “The most exhausting activity is pretending to be what you know you aren’t.”